Top Seven Things I Hate About Crochet

I am not ready to post my new hat pics and pattern yet, but I really want to start posting every day. Inspired by the "hooks & humor" section in the back of Crochet! magazine, here is my top seven list of things I don't like about crochet:

1. Sewing in the ends. First off, it involves a needle and sewing. I would be a seamstress if I liked needles and sewing. I don't. It is so tedious and requires so much close attention. I don't have the patience for it. But you need to have patience and take care so your work doesn't unravel. And to really kick you while your down, you only have to sew the ends in when you are so close to being finished!
2. Knots. Speaking of lack of patience... Knots are my arch nemesis.
3. Counting. I love math! I minored in mathematics for my undergrad degree. Counting is not math. Counting is boring, and if you lose track, you have to start all over counting sometimes hundreds of tiny little loops.
4. Ugly patterns. There is not much cute stuff available for crocheters (crochetists?), unless you are a baby, and babies cannot crochet.
5. Explaining to everyone that, no, you do not knit. And no, knitting is not crocheting. I like this about as much as when someone hears a Phil Collins song and says, "oh, Genesis!"
6. People who expect gifts. Just because I love crochet does not mean I love spending hours making you a custom piece and spending upwards of $50 on yarn (even small projects require you to purchase a full skein) for FREE. Yes, I make gifts when I am so moved. Please offer to pay for the yarn at least. If you are nice, I usually give a discount or give it free anyways.
7. Bad ideas and over ambitious projects. Below is a perfect example. First, I got excited about fillet crochet, which I have never done before. Then, I thought I would do cursive lettering. Oh, what a perfect idea, since I have never even done a BASIC fillet pattern before. And just to make things a little bit more challenging, I decided I should do this all with TWINE. Guess what is not comfortable to be rubbing against your fingers for hours on end? After hours of trying, I quit before I could even get my full initials, which are not even legible, which is why I added the pink lines. Don't even ask me what the purpose of this project was. Eh, I'll tell you. I was going to hang my huge sunglasses collection off of it, like a sunglass holder. Weeks later, 25 pairs of dusty sunglasses still clutter the top of my dresser.